U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
