Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
