Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
