Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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