I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
