I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
