You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
