i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
