Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
should my penis look like a turkey
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
