Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
