you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
