Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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