So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
