Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you win again, gameday.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
