I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My ass is underappreciated
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
