Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
