Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
