Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
this hospital has no fireball
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
