That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
