maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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