So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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