Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
