fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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