Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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