See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
