you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
