This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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