I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
