did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
