it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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