So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
