Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
