HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
