when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
