remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
