Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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