dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
its liver damage thursday
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
