I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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