They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize