tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
