THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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