I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
my being single is dangerous.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
