On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
