HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
