do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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