im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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