I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
