im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
