Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
