He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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