They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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