In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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