do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
