if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize