somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize