saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
