I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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