The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yo dont text me then not text me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
