East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize