What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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