Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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