I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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