I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
