so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You pole danced in your parka.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I deserve to be covered in dicks
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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